ELVE TIMOUN se montre yo kouman pou yo wè bagay yo yon lòt jan

March 16, 2020
Education
Family Support
Health and Mental Care
parent and child laughing and playing the guitar together

Liz Meyers, M.Ed.,Yon edikatè ki Lisansye nan lavi an fanmi,Espesyalis ki Lisansye nan entèvansyon pou devlopman timoun

Mwen anseye moun kouman pou yo elve timoun. “Èske elve timoun pa yon posesis natirèl?” Pi fò moun aprann kouman pou yo elve timoun dapre jan paran yo elve yo. Men, e si sa yo te aprann yo se sa pou yo pa fè? Lè w konnen sa pou w pa fè sa pa vle di ou konnen sa k ap mache pou wou. Lè fòme tèt ou nan nenpòt sijè sa montre ou gen kouraj; kit se aprann w ap aprann kèk bagay sou lasante ak manje ki ba moun lasante, kit se aprann kouman pou w repare yon bagay nan kay la oubyen w ap aprann kouman pou w vin yon pi bon paran. Tout paran kab aprann yon bagay ki kab ede yo amelyore ladrès yo nan elve timoun. Lè yon moun ap chache enfòmasyon pou l konnen kouman li kab vin yon pi bon paran se yon bèl bagay.

Pifò moun elve timoun ak ensten yo, ak esperyans epi ak chans yo. Men elve timoun nan yon sans ki pozitif mande plis pase sa.

Depi moun pran kou pou aprann elve timoun, yo sezi wè kèk bagay yo fè (oubyen kèk bagay yo pa fè) anpil ladan yo se bagay yo fè rechèch sou yo, se bagay yo deja eseye, se bagay anpil moun reflechi sou yo nan etid sou relasyon lavi an fanmi, nan etid pou aprann moun elve timoun, nan etid sou sikoloji epi nan etid sou sante piblik. Ki sa nou menm nou anseye moun?

Nou aprann moun devlopman timoun met sou sa nou aprann yo etap tipik jèn timoun pase nan yo epi ki kalite konpòtman paran an dwe atann de timoun nan laj sa a—e sa soti depi nan nesans timoun nan pase nan adolesans li rive nan laj jèn granmoun. Ak nouvo enfòmasyon sa yo, paran yo kab re-evalye pou ki sa pitit yo a ap aji jan l ap aji a epi yo kab kòmanse jwenn solisyon pou poblèm nan, olye pou yo al pran kèk mezi disiplin ki kab fè anpil tò.

Paregzanp, si w pa konnen sa nòmal pou yon timoun nan laj dezan pou l toujou ap di “non”, ou kab panse timoun sa a derespektan, oubyen li gen twòp volonte epi sa mande pou ou disipline li. Kou w fin konprann nan laj sa a, timoun kòmanse vin gen yon sans pou yo detache yo de wou (paregzanp, yo kòmanse vin devlope otonomi yo) epi yo sou gran wout pou yo vin yon moun endepandan, ou kab vin wè sitiyasyon an yon fason ki diferan. (Yon liv Erik Erikson’s ekri ki pote non Angle: (Erik Erikson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development Stage 2-Will: Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt).

Si w gen yon timoun ki gen dezan edmi epi li pa vle al fè bezwen li pou kont li, epi ou panse li kab pa janm aprann al fè bezwen li, epi sa ap koute w yon fòtin nan achte kouchèt epi sa anpeche w mete l nan lekòl prematènèl ou ta renmen mete l la, paske kote sa yo se timoun ki kab fè bezwen yo pou kont yo yo aksepte; Ou kapab panse se defye timoun nan ap defye w epi ou fòse li aprann sèvi ak vaz kan menm. Kou w konprann gen yon sikoloji ki mache avèk aprann fè bezwen w pou kont ou, timoun nan dwe ‘santi l gen nesesite a li menm,’ fò l konprann sa k ap pase l la epi pou l deside al fè bezwen li pou kont li, lè sa a w ap kapab abòde poblèm nan yon lòt fason ki pi pwodiktif. Si w okouran rechèch ki ankouraje paran pou yo pa fòse timoun nan tout otan li poko pare pou evite kèk sikonstans ki kab vin yon poblèm, poblèm tankou rezistans, poblèm fè bak nan devlopman yo, poblèm pipi nan kabann; ou kab vin wè kesyon sa a yon lòt jan. (Leiberman 1972, Brazelton 1062, Brazelton ak Sparrow 2004)

Si w gen yon timoun ki lekòl epi w wè li pa kab sonje pou l remèt pwofesè a devwa li (epi ou konnen devwa a fèt paske ou te tcheke sa!), ou kab panse timoun sa a ap fè espre pou l pa suiv disiplin lekòl la, oubyen li parese, ouswa li pa òganize oubyen li se yon ka pèdi. Kou ou fin konprann youn nan defi ou genyen ak timoun ki nan laj mwayèn se aprann yo kouman pou yo devlope abilite yo pou yo òganize epi pou yo planifye, epi leplisouvan se yon posesis ki pran tan pou yo aprann ni, e sa mande èd paran an pou gide li nan devlope woutin sa a, sètadi ede yo òganize sa yo gen pou yo fè epi kite yo fè esperyans konsekans aksyon yo kab genyen; ou kab vin wè sa yon lòt jan.

Si w gen yon ti jennjan oubyen yon ti jennfi ou wè ki kòmanse ap demake w, oubyen li pa vle moun wè l avè w an piblik, oubyen li vle rete ak zanmi l yo plis pase wou, ou kapab wè konpòtman sa a kòm yon konpòtman ki malelve, ki derespektan, epi w kab panse timoun sa a merite yon bon jan disiplin ki sevè tou pou l kab pa tonbe nan move chemen. Kou w vin konprann jan ti jennjan ak ti jennfi grandi, timoun sa yo bezwen separe tèt yo de wou, ( sa dwòl-paske sa vin tankou lè yo te gen dezan!) epi sa nòmal epi sa nesesè pou ti jennjan ak ti jennfi pou yo bezwen espas pa yo ak vi prive pa yo pou yo ekate tèt yo de wou, epi y ap bezwen pou yo rejte kèk nan prensip ou adopte oswa kèk prensip ou kwè ladan yo kon sa pou yo kapab teste nan ki sa yo menm yo kwè; lè sa a ou menm ou kab vin wè sitiyasyon an yon lòt jan (Jane Nelson, Ed. D, and Lynn Lott, March 2007)

Elve timoun yon fason ki mande refleksyon e ki pozitif, sa kreye yon anviwonman pou timoun nan devlope an sante,epi ak kè kontan. Paran ki chache ransèyman sou kesyon elve timoun, anpil fwa sa etone yo pou valè bagay yo aprann epi kouman sa vin fè travay yo vin pi fasil paske yo vin konprann kèk prensip nan devlopman timoun. Paran yo vin konprann rezon ki esplike konpòtman timoun epi yo vin konprann zouti ki pèmèt moun kominike nan fason ki pi efektif. Lè pèsepsyon pa nou ak konpreyansyon pa nou sou timoun chanje sa vin chanje reyaksyon nou parapò ak konpòtman yo, an retou sa vin chanje konpòtman pa yo. Elve timoun se bèl bagay (pafwa sa lakòz perèz tou). Lè w gen lasyans ki ap kore sa ou te konn fè sou baz ensten ou pandan lontan sa kab ofri paran yo yon rekonfò ak yon sans sekirite lè yo konnen gen bon jan refleksyon ki fèt sou sa n ap fè yo. 


Sante Mantal nan Sidès Florid se yon òganizasyon 501(c)(3) ki ofri sèvis edikasyon,prevansyon, rechèch,defans dwa timoun,ak ankourajman. Pou plis enfòmasyon, al sou sitwèb sa a: www. mhasefl.org oubyen telefone n nan: 954-746-2055.

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